Voice my SOS
by chocolatexloverx16
Summary: Something wants me dead.  But it's not a person.  It's a voice, in my head.  The biggest problem I have is I can't escape it.  How do I get rid of the voices?  Rated T for terrible thoughts and tragedy.


_**A/N**__: Well, this was nagging at me, actually. It is a very serious fic, so brace yourself._

_**Warnings**__: This is what some would call a one shot with death. Things that are related to depression and/or suicide. Most likely will have gore at the end._

_**Disclaimer**__: I own nothing._

"Do it."

That was what the voice said to me. Over and over and over again. Of course, it wasn't the only voice talking to me. "You'll make everyone's life better if you're gone."

Why can't they just leave me alone? What did I ever do to deserve them? I wish that they'd just go away…

"No one really cares about you." I tossed and turned fitfully, trying to go to sleep. The clock read 2 A.M., which means that this will not stop for a few hours. Can it just be over already?

These voices have been bothering me for a couple months now. They seemed to have come out of nowhere, and are here to stay. They don't bother me during the day, thankfully, as I'm sure I would've snapped a long time ago.

"Die." I'm trying to stay sane. But I'm not sure how much longer I am able to. The temptation of death is luring me like moth to a flame. Surely the peace of death would make those voices go away…

"Yes, do it…" No, I should really stop thinking like this. I can fight it! My team needs me!

"No they don't, you can't even blade." They need me to support and guide them.

"They were doing just fine before you came along." Then why did they almost split up?

"Because you were pestering them, and pushed them to the limit." You know what? Screw this. This is getting me nowhere. I shouldn't have to reason with you monstrosities.

"Yet you are." I ignore the voices as best I can, and try to lay on my right side. I check the clock, out of habit. 2:13.

Unable to bear the thought of listening to them much longer, I go to the kitchen and take a sleeping pill. Only one. This is an obvious solution, anyone would think. Except for the fact that they almost never work on me.

"They would work very well if you took them all at once." I clenched my eyes shut against that voice, against that very thought, and went back to bed. This early morning, the pill was merciful; it quieted the voices.

7 A.M. finally rolled around, and no one was happier than I was. It was time to go to school, and time to get away from those evil thoughts. A temporary escape is better than none, after all.

The walk is nice and short to the school building, and I knew not to look for Tyson; he wouldn't be there yet. Kenny would be, though.

But he wasn't there. Ten minutes later, when class started, he wasn't there. I shouldn't worry, after all, he might just be sick from all that middle-of-the-night beyblade work he does.

Except that I was worried. Tyson wasn't there either, but I kept hoping to hear him come crashing through the door five minutes late, as usual.

"They're avoiding you." Oh no. The voices never attack during the day. Why are they now? I don't want to lose it, not here.

Fortunately, that was the only thing the voices said while I was at school, but it effected me. I didn't tell my class to quiet down. Or sit down. Or have any troublemakers serve detention. I only waited for the end of the day.

When the final bell finally rang, eons later, I was one of the first out the door. No waiting behind to clean up for me today. I tried to tell myself that I was rushed to get home and get started on all this homework, but it just didn't ring true. My feet brought me to the dojo instead.

While I'm here, I might as well see what's going on. I get greeted by good ol' gramps, but am otherwise unnoticed. I hear the sound of battles in the backyard, and I turn the corner, anxious to see which two were going at it. But why am I anxious?

It's Tyson. And, look, Kenny's here too. Why would they not go to school, but be perfectly fine enough to train?

"They don't want to see you." That's not true, that CAN'T be true.

"If it's not true, why haven't you greeted them yet? Afraid?" No. I'm going straight home. That's why.

"Because you sense you're not wanted here." They're just busy is all. I should go now.

So home I go. Eyes downcast, and my other senses don't register anything. I've memorized the walk a long time ago, and could do it with my eyes shut.

It doesn't take long to arrive at my house at all. My empty house. Mom must be staying late at work again. Oh well, no big deal. I can just keep myself company in my room.

I casually toss my backpack onto my bed, and sit on the floor nearby. "Why couldn't I just go say hi to them? I've never had a problem with it in the past… what's wrong with me?"

"Do it." Oh, not this again. I don't know how much more of this I can take.

"You know how to make it go away…" There must be another way. I feel like I'm very close to my breaking point. Closer than ever.

"Good. You know what to do." I just lay, unmoving on the floor, trying to block the voices out. "Just go away," I whisper. "Just go away."

"You want to do this." I shut my eyes and a whimper comes out.

"You KNOW it's true." My mouth opens wide and a scream comes out.

But I feel different. All of a sudden, the resistance in me died. I don't feel like I'm even controlling myself anymore.

What am I fighting for anyway? My team hates me. My classmates hate me. My mom's disappointed in me. Nobody has positive feelings about me.

In fact, how can I call them "my" team? They aren't mine. They never were. And never will be. I realize that now. I was wrong to think otherwise.

Robotically, I get off the floor, and I go into the kitchen. There are a few bottles of sleeping pills lined up, and they look ever so delicious. And I see mom's bottle of vodka. My indifferent gaze scans over everything else, looking for something else useful. Finding just those, I take out the bottles and empty them out. Then I uncork the vodka. A slow and deliberate speed. I'm almost calm about this.

I take as many pills as I can at once, wash it down with the vodka. Then scoop up some more pills, and ingest. With each ingestion, I can feel my brain growing fuzzier, and my vision weakening. I start putting effort into breathing, just to ensure finishing the job right. No need to wake up in a hospital, writhing in pain.

Somewhere, there is a far off sound of a door opening. Mom must be home! I must hurry.

Gathering the rest of my strength, I have my shaky hand grab one of the nearby knives. I'm about to pass out, I can feel the comforting peace of death welcoming me already. I use the rest of my strength to plunge the knife into my head.

The voices are no more… and there is only blackness now.

_**A/N**__: Wow. Ok. That took a few unexpected twists for me, but that's alright, I suppose. I'd like to thank __**Nirianne**__ for giving me the voices idea. All those months ago x3_

_Any thoughts are welcomed. I'm sure you know who this is, right?_

_Peace and love everybody_

_chocolatexloverx16_


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